Wow. Can we talk about how my first blog post of 2019 is such a positive one? As tempting as it is to write a happy-go-lucky post about how life is rainbows and butterflies, I’m just going to keep it real. Life is awesome but honestly, January is the worst month of the entire year and I’m already over it. And I’m about to tell you why. Let me know if you agree in the comments below…
Why does January suck?
- You come off of December high on spending time with family and loved ones and all of the holiday celebrations to a month that really…has no celebrations. (Unless we all want to create a holiday for Ariana Grande’s future album release. Anyone? Anyone?) Christmas time is the most cherished time of the year and it’s flowing with adventures, the Christmas spirit and alcohol. All of a sudden, your time off of work is thrown to a halt and you have to return to the daily grind. It’s a pretty stark contrast and it ain’t fun.
- The weather is gloomy AF. I currently live in California which is the land of sunshine and good weather and I don’t know about you, but it’s been pretty apocalyptic outside now for the entire month. I can’t imagine all you people who live where it snows! January is the peak bad weather month and between that and Daylights Savings still being a thing, it makes you crave that summer weather so badly.
- Your vacation time from work resets and we all know nobody uses it in January. Let’s be real. Vacation days are a precious commodity and nobody is really going to use them now. They must be preserved for those long summer weekends, okay.
- It’s the new year and with a new year comes a new diet for 90% of people. Please let January be known as the month that the entire population of the world is hangry. I’m convinced it is the month that has the most passive aggressive work emails go out too. Did you just email me that Barbara? How dare you, you asshole. XOXO, Alex.
- The Bachelor starts and this year, we’re subjected to Colten’s face on our screens weekly. Spare me. He looks like John C. Reilly from Talladega Nights and has the personality of a piece of cauliflower. (Please don’t ever read this Colten. I’m currently also hangry and taking it out on this show).
- There’s nothing super crazy to look forward to. I mean, what. Valentine’s Day? Spring Break? (Jk, we all know that isn’t a thing for us anymore). The closest thing we all have to look forward to is Easter but we all know that revolves around eating scalloped potatoes and arguing with your grandmother about your nonexistent love life.
- The MLM Boss Babes are out in full force and ready to swoop in and convince anyone to invest in their pyramid schemes because ~NeW yEaR, nEw yOu, RiGhT?!?~ #kyani
Okay, I think that about sums it up. Apologies to any strange soul who actually likes January. Snaps for you. As for me, thank you for listening to my Ted Talk and it’s time to get excited that the month is halfway over!