Before I dive into the 10 things I’ve learned from owning a kitten, I’ll give you a little background first.
Let’s start by saying that I’m a huge animal lover and I had been waiting for the right moment in life to finally scoop a fur baby up and get a pet. (I should mention that I’d been signed up for pet adoption emails for years and I would always browse them at work, staring at all the dogs and cats needing a home and would constantly be 5 seconds away from jumping in my car and going to adopt them all).
Morgan and I grew up with a blue-point Siamese cat named Zoey and she really embodied the Willett spirit. (By this, I mean she was mouthy, obnoxious, part human and pretty much the sassiest thing to ever exist). I knew that I eventually wanted to adopt a Siamese kitten of my own and in March of 2018, I did it. Meet Finley, everyone.
I got her when she was 12 weeks old and she was pretty much the cutest thing I had ever seen, and probably ever will see. I’m being serious though. Human babies, when born, aren’t that cute and I fully expect me to always think my cat is cuter than any potential kids I might have. #Sorrynotsorry
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here are 10 things I’ve learned from owning a cat.
1) You give up your right to privacy
When you bring a cat home, you’re pretty much signing a contract stating I will never have any privacy for at least 15 more years and I better get used to it. I’m being serious. Are you going to the bathroom? Are you changing clothes? Are you taking a shower? Nope. No privacy. Prepare for your cat to sit on the toilet and stare intensely at the shower without blinking until you exit the bathroom.
*I’m pretty sure my cat thinks the shower is going to suck away my soul or something because as we all know, water is the devil and is pure evil. That was actually a direct quote from Finley. I just asked her.
2) There is no toy that you can purchase for a cat that is greater than your own back
Stop. Save your money on cat toys right now. Sign off of Amazon and don’t even think about stockpiling toys from the convenience of Amazon Prime. I don’t know about you guys but Finley loves leaping onto my back the SECOND I bend over. I think she knows it annoys me and she loves nothing more than to be up high and torture me. It’s totally a game to her. #Blessed. The newness and entertainment value of store-bought toys will fade but human backs will last forever. She tries to leap onto Morgan’s back as well but sis ain’t havin’ it. I did catch Finley try to leap onto Morgan’s face once and I really wish I had gotten it on video because it’s one of my top 5 moments in life, actually.
3) You will spend a lot of money on cat food
My cat eats a better diet than me. It’s funny because I hate vegetables but with Finley, I buy her all this completely over the top cat food pureed with vegetables and who knows what else. I’m pretty sure the canned cat food promises vitamins, minerals and unicorn fairy dust to enhance her organs as well.
At first, I would just buy dry cat food for her. I started feeling guilty though when I would eat human food and have her staring at me with those big blue eyes. She got to me, guys. She peered into my soul and hypnotized me into buying her a variety of organic wet food for every meal. It adds up. It’s not the most cost-effective solution. But I’m a millennial and we do these things, okay. You can go ahead and insert a joke about avocado toast, here.
4) Your face will become a pillow
The very first night I got Finley, she was so scared that she slept behind a pillow on my living room couch. The second night I had her, she decided that I wasn’t so bad and my face BECAME her pillow. Yep, you heard that right. The second night I got her, I woke up to her smothering my face because she was sleeping on top of me. There has been many nights since that she has decided this is an okay thing to do. I just wake her up, brush her off and roll back over to sleep.
Wait a second. What if her plan all along was to smother me in my sleep so that she could be in charge? I think I just discovered something here…
5) Trimming a cat’s nails is not a joyful experience
Simply put, it is not fun for me and it will not be fun for you either. Finley can just sense when I bring the nail clippers out. It’s that weird cat sixth sense, I’m telling you. As soon as it dawns on her what is happening, she panics. Darts. Starts sprinting around the room. I basically have to turn into a linebacker and full on tackle her to get her nails clipped. Some might call it a bonding moment but I call it torture. You gotta do what you gotta do.
6) Get a kitten spayed before they go into heat or you will suffer the consequences
If you have a girl cat, please don’t do what I did. I made my appointment to get Finley spayed about 3 weeks too late and she went into heat.
It. Was. Hell.
I’m not exaggerating- Morgan and I had to wear earplugs for an entire week due to Finley’s constant yowling. Finley was uncomfortable. We were uncomfortable. Our neighbors were probably uncomfortable because our walls are paper-thin and for 5 days straight, all they heard was a cat wailing at the top of her lungs trying to escape the apartment to go leap onto the nearest male cat.
Please get your cat spayed (or neutered!) Also, please do it in a timely manner. Don’t pull an Alex. I’m serious. Don’t you do it. Your ears and cat will thank you.
7) People will stare when you take your cat on a walk
I get the weirdest looks because I “attempt” to walk my cat around the block. By attempt I mean Finley either walks on her leash like a dog or has to be dragged on the ground. It truly depends on her daily mood.
I live in Los Angeles, right? I see hot pink chihuahuas and pit bulls with their nails painted on the reg. You’d think people wouldn’t bat an eye at walking a cat but here we are. When I got Finley, I was kind of determined to turn her into a dog, (a cat-dog, if you will), so I immediately got her a leash and collar. She doesn’t always behave but for the most part, she enjoys the fresh air and seeing the outside world. Don’t be scared to dogify your cat too! It’ll freak people out. The reactions are worth it. Plus, your cat will thank you for getting out of your home/apartment for a little bit.
8) YouTube videos for cats are a thing
Since I work 9-5, I have to leave Finley home alone. I’m not going to lie, I feel a lot of guilt about it. (Sometimes I get the urge to adopt a cat friend for Finley but then I realize I’m broke and can’t afford it, to be honest). Luckily though, Morgan is home on and off throughout the days so Finley has a friendly face out and about. I’ve found a pretty good solution for when Finley is home alone though.
Enter YouTube videos for cats.
Yes, it’s a thing. Yes, it’s weird. And yes, it’s effective. I usually prop Finley up on her cat tower in front of the TV, put on an hour-long YouTube video compilation for cats, featuring birds and squirrels, and she’s sucked in. By sucked in, I mean she’s swatting at the TV screen and longing to magically transform into a lion.
A girl can dream.
9) Cats have mood swings
Cats have bad moods and good moods. Luckily, most of the time, my cat is in a grrrrreat, lovable mood. However, I straight up know when Finley is in a foul mood because she stares at me and gives me that look like “homie, are you going to play with me or not?” The sass level is at an all-time high and there is no such thing as cuddles or purring. Now that I think about it, a cat in a bad mood is the equivalent of living with an angsty teenager. Cats are going to sulk. However, cats are also going to be playful, cuddly and the most lovable things on the planet. The good far outweighs the bad. All I know is that when the sass is turned on, I toss Finley in Morgan’s room and say “Auntie Mo, Finley wants to play with you!”
I then abort and run away. I’m evil, I know.
10) Your cat will run your household
I’ve learned that I am no longer in control. Finley runs this joint and your cat will do the same. Just give up control now. Accept that you are now a cat-mom and your cat will become your bestie, fur child and controller of your life all at once.
It’s easier if you just accept this early on in the process. 😉
That’s all I got! Getting a cat has been one of my favorite things that has happened to me yet and I couldn’t imagine life without her. Adopt and get ready for your kitten to shake up your world! (In the best way possible, of course).